You always knew the time would come. As you ploughed your way through parenthood, the day when your children would pack their trunks and say goodbye to the family home was up ahead, bittersweet. Now, just when they’re fully sentient and have become such excellent company, they’re leaving you to your own devices. It’s a wrench, to be sure. Who are you if you don’t have to buy extra large packets of washing powder, or take Halloween seriously, or step over a teenager’s legs to get to the kettle?
But you may be forgetting something. Although you’ll miss the kids and all that life-affirming noise, the upside is a sense of freedom that just a few years ago you could only have dreamed of. You’re back in charge of your time and space. Here’s how to relish it.
Let the laundry go hang
Most parents know that the number of socks that need washing and hanging up is not calculable using standard mathematical scales. And although as children mature, they may show a passing interest in taking over in the kitchen, or even dabble in a bit of gardening, no teenager is ever going to say: “Oh, don’t worry, I’ll hang it up.†Because why would they, when they have a choice? You raised them better than that. Accordingly, for each teenager that departs, the number of items needing washing and hanging will reduce by approximately 85%. Who knows how this happens? And who cares? Just put your feet up and enjoy the golden hours of reclaimed time.
Treat yourself
It’s all you now. What do you want? Grab yourself a glossy magazine for inspiration and head to eBay to pursue your Elle Decoration dreams. That Tom Dixon light you’ve always coveted? Go ahead and buy it. The chances of it being smashed in a pillow fight in the front room have now been greatly diminished. And that antique Serapi rug? Why not. You won’t be shouting: “Wipe your feet,†every time the door opens any more. Your home can return to the tasteful place it was before the march of plastic toys began.
Luxuriate in the extra space
It may be tempting to turn the departed offspring’s rooms into a revenue stream by renting it out to holiday guests or a lodger. But are you prepared for the sudden laundry spikes? And aren’t you meant to be savouring the lack of young dependants to worry about? Instead, consider a straightforward landgrab â€" sell off your kids’ unwanted stuff on eBay and make the room your own. Fewer people and things means more room for you. Try these phrases for size: “I probably left it in the yoga room.†“Everyone back to mine!†And: “I’ll show you through to the library.â€
Be footloose
It’s not just that holidays will be cheaper, now there are fewer seats to book and you don’t have to join the hordes at school holiday time. It’s not even that you no longer have to plan for baby listening or cross-generational entertainment. The real revelation is that without the conflicting requirements and complex group dynamics, without the feeling that you’re in charge of everyone’s fun, there’s not really any such thing as a disastrous holiday any more. There’s just you and a shrug, and a quick change of plan. No one will drown if you fall asleep on your lounger, and no one will complain about the climb if you decide to tackle Machu Picchu. This is called relaxation.
Reclaim the remote
After years of children’s TV and teenage dramas, you are once again in charge of your own cultural choices â€" the remote is all yours. You can watch things with subtitles, shows about miserable Danes, and programmes with no explosions and no songs, but with gruff butlers and angelic feminist midwives. The drawback, of course, will be trying to find someone with whom to watch Eurovision.
Learn to chill again
Remember when you stumbled, blinking, into new parenthood and began to fully comprehend what you’d signed up for: the complete absence of the seamless chilling that previously made up your downtime. That seamlessness can be yours again (albeit a decade or two later than you had hoped), unpunctuated by bedtimes, mealtimes or parents’ evenings. Nobody is expecting you home, let alone requiring help with an art project. Catch a movie after work. Have a few too many and crash on someone’s floor. And best of all, simply wander out of your house with no idea when you plan to return. Just go with the flow.
Ready to turn the teenage den back into a zen adults’ space? It couldn’t be easier to finding a loving home for that young person’s paraphernalia and make some extra cash, just for you, on eBay.
